At Least I'm Beating Millians Plus

demisexual apologism in light of un-radical bullshit

permutationofninjas:

elbeebee:

mikroblogolas:

No wonder the term “demisexual” caught on — in a culture where your radicalness is measured by your sexual availability, your openness to sex with every gender and body type possible, your embrace of poly relationships and kink; a culture in which each dimension by which you’re oppressed awards you extra buttons to pin on your sidebar; no wonder an expression of perfectly “normal,” perfectly “boring,” and even, you could say, “under-sexed,” sexual attraction — packaged as the new radical oppresssed™ group — caught on. No wonder people spun out theories of “sexual privilege” and claimed “queer” as theirs too, because oppression is the way to cool points, and instead of challenging the horrific mess that is the dominant culture’s view of sexuality, find any way possible to distance yourself from heterocisvanillamonogamouspatriarchy, and you’re safe. You can cling to your status as a marginalized person without ever having to challenge the assumptions of the dominant culture or the radical subculture(s) that both thrive on hierarchies. Hierarchies are at the heart of the dominant culture — as much the life-blood of civilized society as oil is of modern globalization — and it is an utter shame that radical communities, in their eagerness to break down dominant paradigms, instead of smashing anything, slapped their hands together and set about creating a sort of reverse of the hated paradigm. A firmly established hierarchy, just upside down (but to tell the truth, it’s very often not even that upside down at all). A “subversive” hierarchy does not subvert power, not any more than a Democratic win restructures the political system of the United States. Come on, kids, let’s rethink radical and recreate sex positivity.

Bold and italics mine.

While for various reasons I don’t feel that demisexuals can be classed as marginalized, it’s really quite distinct. Someone who is demisexual has absolutely no sex drive under normal circumstances, and only develops one in the context of a romantic or otherwise strong emotional connection. It’s not the same as someone who simply has a low sex drive or who prefers to wait before having sex.

I object to the SJ phenomenon of the reversed pyramid, and I certainly agree it exists, but that doesn’t excuse denying/ignoring valid identities and cases.

as a demisexual who does not talk about my own demisexuality with frequency or even in detail (it simply is to me, i’ve personally never recognized it as a huge deal) i’m so confused by what’s going on right now with all of this “marginalization” business. i’ve never seen myself as marginalized in any way, and i have never quite seen other demisexuals being marginalized.

i’m really curious as to why demisexuals feel marginalized or appear as such? i’m genuinely looking for clarification because i am surprised, i’m not trying to get snippy or anything. this is all news to me, basically!

I’ve never felt marginalized. I don’t know what this post is talking about. Demisexuality isn’t homosexuality, or bisexuality, or transexuality. I mean, you can be any one of those things at the same time as demi, but the fact that you are demisexual has no premise on people’s treatment of you (you don’t fuck other people in the ass or anything) and quite frankly can’t make you lose your job or anything dramatic like that.

Source: mikroblogolas